shady's ladies

Shady’s Ladies. Which forgotten women of rock and pop could rap save next?

Carol DeckerCarol Decker

If T’Pau’s ‘China In Your Hand’ isn’t ready for a hip-hop makeover, then we don’t know what is. In its new version, the china in you hand could be, like, the respect that you be holding’, and cats who want to take away that respect would “break” the “china”. Or it could just be about a teapot.

Bonnie TylerBonnie Tyler

Massive-haired Bonnie’s ‘Total Eclipse Of The Heart‘ has already been given a dance makeover – what price ‘Holding Out For A Hero‘ done in the rough rap stylee? Perhaps fellow Welshos Goldie Lookin Chain could oblige. We’d pay good money for that combo.

HeartHeart

“Till Now/I always got by my own…” Taken from the sister act’s ‘Alone‘, there are perfect lyrics, surely, to underline the dor-for-self credo and individualist fervour that typifies some of the finest hip-hop artist. On the downside, both girls in soft-metal abomination Heart looked like fat goths. But hey, fat goths are funny.

Jennifer Rush 1985Jennifer Rush

Jennifer only had one big hit, the rock ballad monolith that was ‘The Power Of Love’. So she probably need the money. Fantastically, she graced an ’80s revival show recently and drunkenly told Myleene Klass to “get your lips done”. So she’s got the hip-hop attitude.

FuzzboxFuzzbox

Also known as We’ve Got A Fuzzbox And We’re Gonna Use It, the Midlands’ finest all-girl jangle-pop four-piece (and, let’s face it, there’s a lot of competition) recently released their ‘Look At The Hits On That’ compilation – we can only assume that it is approaching triple platinum satus as we speak. And if it isn’t, a hook-up with Ja Rule should nudge it over the line. We’re sure that won’t be necessary, though.

TiffanyTiffany

We drool at the very thought of it. Tiff’s white trash credentials are even more solid than Eminem‘s – their coupling would be like the Ike and Tina of the trailer park. And we reckon romance would ensue too. Mind you, we said that about Courtney Love and Gareth Gates and they didn’t hit it off at all.

© NME November 20, 2004

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